spiritdick:

I want to know why

verylittlebird:

good idea for a film

it’s about a cop who - get this - doesn’t play by the rules. this guy… he’s something of a loose cannon. but here’s the twist: he doesn’t play by the rules. he’s a lone wolf. you could even say he doesn’t play by the rules. sometimes he actually breaks the rules. that is to say, instead of playing by them. them being the rules. of which he does not play by.

(Source: spookylittlebird, via vineyard-sails)

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crunchier:

HOLY SHIT IT ME
shrugging:

laughhard:

I don’t know where to even start

with some lube

ifwefallonemoretime:

theorginalmiddlechild:

helenas-hood:

Friendly reminder that yesterday when my mom took me to Walmart she left me alone in the toilet paper section and this guy started hitting on me and I said “Sorry, I’m a lesbian.” and he was like “Oh my god I’m so sorry I thought you were a boy.”

Soda just spewed out my nose

THAT WAS A PLOT TWIST

(Source: mintyboob, via comakisses)

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acaciabrinley:

bunsen:

plunged:

I think everyone should have tumblr user bunsen on their dashboard

just got my nasty plan started

tbh if you’re not following what are you doing with your life